Unveiled

The blogsphere is up in arms recently with a mini-movement of honest truth and disclosure called Things I'm Afraid to Tell You, in an effort to unveil ourselves to our followers and tell what is really going on in our lives behind all the pretty pictures, fabulous trips and gorgeous clothes we love to post about. Let's call this a coming out party, shall we?! Bloggers all over the world are coming out behind their façades and being their genuine selves. Truth. Reality. Honesty. Beauty.

And so I unveil myself to you...

1. Fear: I have irrational fears about completely disappointing my family. My father worked hard and found success early in his career and supported my family by educating us well and putting us on the path towards success. I grew up in a nice home in Massachusetts, went to good schools, invested my time in dance and after-school sports, studied and traveled abroad and had the love and support of a large family and close friends. My biggest fear is letting that support system down and not being as successful as my parents had been in creating such a loving and solid family with deep-rooted values; values and discipline that they hope will be passed down to the generations that follow their children. I hope I can start a family and raise them with the love, the discipline and the respect that my parents had raised their four children. And I hope my children will one day be as successful as my parents hope for me to be! Talk about pressure!

2. The Gypsy Life: You know that woman in the book Eat. Pray. Love? Well, I want to be her. I want to throw all my responsibilities out the door and just jet-set off to India, eat my way through Italy and settle down in Bali. I have it in me, this spirit for adventure. I always want something more, to see something new, to travel and meet people. I fear that I’ll let my family down one day because work, family…and life…will get the best of me and I’ll want to run away from it all and just be selfish for a little while.

3. Peace Corp.: I almost joined the peace corp. right out of college. I wanted to travel…and more importantly, I wanted to face my fears of being put into a living situation that wasn’t comfortable, pleasant or easy. I wanted to see how some people in the world truly lived. I wanted to feel humbled by their life experiences, their losses, their grief, and their triumphs. I wanted to explore the world and immerse myself in a different culture. I am a coward for not committing to this and it is a decision I deeply regret. I hope one day, someday, I’ll have the guts to make such a bold commitment.

4. Fake it: I live in Washington DC, where at times, you find yourself amongst men and women of affluent means…or so they make themselves look the part anyway! It’s a town of prestige and show. The pressure is on to be the best dressed, drive the best cars, live in the best home and put your children in the best schools….all while knowing the best people. Most of the time I want to scream to these people “Who are you, really? And why are you acting like money grows on trees in your backyard?! Please...tell it like it really is!”….and the rest of the time I pity these people. Why on earth must you pretend to be something you’re not? How exhausting. I have to admit, it’s hard not to get wrapped up in it all, but I try to remember how the rest of the world lives their lives in comparison, and I’m brought back down to reality. If I had spent time in the Peace Corp., the experience could really help put things in perspective over here!

5. Is this it?! I have a good job that may turn into a great career, a nice home, a lovely fiancé, an absolutely fantastic group of girlfriends and an amazing family…but I often wonder…is this it for me? I have dreams of starting my own business and really making my interests a career…but do I really have the ‘balls’ per se to make it happen? Will I continue on the career path I’m already on? Will I stop working when I have children? Will I even be blessed with children? Could this be it for me? It’s a scary thought. Trust me, I thank God every day for all that i'm blessed with in my life, but I can't help wanting to know that there may be more out there for me.